Passive-Aggressive.

I had no idea that passive-agressiveness was actually a type of disorder before I Googled it just now. Anyway, disorder aside, I believe this fits me as well as any other breathing human being.

Roughly passive means basically letting things happen (favorable or unfavorable) while aggressive describes one who will do just about anything to get to the next level.

Usually, I am passive in matters I don't care about. One of the symptoms of the aforementioned disorder is procrastination, but that would just mean all of us are at least mildly infected. Anyway, it makes sense. Why would we put our all into something we hate and won't gain anything from? I've had numerous moments in my life (including certain points during this school year) where I could care less if anyone liked me on a romantic level. Since I've been focusing on the aspects of my sexuality, being romantically liked by either sex is a somewhat important issue. Regardless, I'm learning that you have to be your ideal before becoming someone else's. And also, regardless of who you are attracted to, you will attract the same types on either side if you don't get your act together. I can't say that either side is easier to deal with. Pursuing a relationship (not necessarily romantic ones) requires work on both sides. I'm still on the stepping stones, but I will not waste time on someone I know I won't gain anything from. That's why I'm beyond basically any romantic encounters I've had between Spring of last year and now. These people taught me lessons that have influenced my romantic aspirations today.

As for aggressiveness, I will do all in my power to entrance one worth entrancing. And I've learned that every new person I meet doesn't deserve that right away. Sometimes that person can be one you least expect, and I believe it's better off that way. I'll leave it at that. ;)

In other news, I've been fiendin' for the open mic scene. Fuzzys was a bust last Wednesday and I don't have class Thursday morning. I just have to attend senior thesis defenses instead. Some of my friends are talking about going (to Fuzzys) and I believe I am game as well.

I started a poem in class today. We'll see if it'll make it to the masses before the next sunrise.

Much love.

Sweet Tooth Haze. (4/30)

I see the hint of your smile
Behind the straw in your sweet black tea
Sugar-coated teeth makes me wonder
If your lips are just as healthy

The glimmer in my eyes
Favor the sun
Making it sweat
With the heat of my attraction

I slip into a hazy daydream...

Where the allure of my gaze
Brings you to your feet
Approach me
Then slowly fall to your knees
Like a worshipper to his deity
My supernatural hands touch your own
Move you back to your soles

Proving we are just as equal...

I rise to my senses
And feel the curve of your lips
Against mine
Saccharine
Grinding palates
Forming a cream too sweet to swallow
Too delicious to spit

So I sit
Anticipating the cavities
You'll soon fill up again.