Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A boyfriend at my fingertips?

I am anticipating a future of complete laziness. Even now we barely have to move to get in contact with people or have access to certain objects. A favorite tv show, the newest hit song, the perfect boyfriend...

I just recently joined a dating site for kicks. One of my best friends decided to sign up, and it's completely free. "Why not?" I asked myself. It wouldn't hurt to get back in touch with some boys.

I instantly received numerous hits and quite a few welcome messages after I signed up. I even instant messaged a couple of hopefuls (who messaged me first). I gave one my number and he's been texting here and there. He called me at 2am last night, but I was in no mood to talk to a stranger that late.

Even with the possibility of meeting the perfect guy, we all hide behind these online personalities. Lucky face shots will get guys' attention, but what about those that don't make the cut? How many guys would actually stick around if they knew I was bisexual? There's always those deep dark secrets that are kept inside at surface conversation.

And how many times do we look at a myspace profile pic of a boy and think "He's the one" at first glance? Hardly ever. As romantic as I am, I don't believe in love at first sight. Infatuation...yes. Anyway, I haven't seen any drop-dead gorgeous people yet (at least in my area). Isn't that the point though? A networking site for mostly average people who can't get laid on a regular basis...

Of course, I consider myself being above average. It's hard to find people on the regular walk of life, so here I am trying to see what I can find beyond the mall trips and local Starbucks runs in my hometown. Maybe there is someone out there who understands.

In the meantime, I'm just living my life. If I find someone, cool. If not, at least I can say I tried something new.

Because of the demands of my sexuality (lol), I'm not sure if I could do a serious relationship now anyway. I guess if I find that person, then sure. For now, I'm just going to stay with the safe "dating" status.

I thought this was going to be more profound. Oh well...

Subject aside, I'm dying to go home for Thanksgiving. My dad's supposed to pick me up later today. I need to start packing...

Sunday, November 16, 2008

She told me I was beautiful...

I have so many blog topics to catch up on, but stick around for those.

Last night I went to a gay club called Harrts (Hearts) with a bunch of friends. When I was walking to the back of the line, I spotted my friend's (one who didn't sttend the gathering) ex-boo and her best friend, who I had met about a month ago.

Long story short, me and her best friend hit it off on the dance floor. I was drinking before we got there, so I was definitely a lot more loose. We got real close and I ended up going home with her. We were holding hands the whole time.

Before things got started, she something along the lines of: "Don't be ashamed of who you are. You are beautiful..." I'll never forget it. I mean, maybe some people may say that just to get the undergarments, but I believe that she really meant it.

But anyway, we're just special friends. I'm still figuring things out and I know she plans on staying single for a while. And there's also this girl I just met the other night, so...

More news later. Gotta return a phone call.


Friday, November 7, 2008

Poem (so proud of my baby!!)

New Beginnings, Old Impressions

“Write me a poem.”

She said.

I say
Inspire me first.

Find a way
To keep your essence flowing
Through my veins

Give me a reason
To fasten you to my mind
And eject you recklessly with my pen

But then,
Six days later
Your absence affected me
More than a spark
Lighting a dim fire
Remembering holding hands
Under a flickering TV screen
Massaging any hint of loneliness away
With my fingertips

Cool, calm and collected I was
On the bed
Your back to my chest
Still couldn’t contain the curiosity
In my mind
(Supposedly a self-inflicting disease)

I was just trying to feel you
Bless your mind
And capture your heart
One day

But the chance started to fade…

Now new beginnings define
Both our lives:
You want real love
While I want some well-deserved attention

But maybe I placed myself too high
To be knocked to a level so low

So now I watch the blood dripping
From pride lost,
A death of simple attraction.

(Rest in peace first impressions)

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


Well, we did it America. Not just Black America. Every color, creed, etc. helped out for the better of this country.

My contribution consisted of canvassing on Election Day, hanging info on people's doorknobs and making sure people voted. Some were annoyed, some were proud, and some had a lot to say. There were a couple of people who were still uninformed of their voting area, so our help was needed. My greatest memory (besides seeing the news of Obama being the new president elect) is giving an elderly lady voting information and the way she beamed when she saw Obama's face on it.

I was ecstatic when they finally showed Virginia as a blue state. That color hasn't showed up here since 1964. HU definitely played a big part in that and I'm proud that I played a part in that. And overall, every vote counted. The popular vote was 51 to 49. That shows that the voting process was extremely fair this time around, even though it was still chaotic.

I was at my friend's house when we found out the great news. Shay was in complete disbelief, but I believed it. It still almost seems unreal.

Most of us are either proud or fearful of what happens next. I'm more of the former. Of course we all wonder what the McCain supporters are going to do.

And Americans aren't the only ones celebrating. Obama is appreciated worldwide. That tells us something.

For now, we can countdown to January 20th and see the change come gradually. All I know is that I'm glad to be existing in this everchanging world.

Monday, November 3, 2008

My mind is filled with unfinished poems.

I had a lovely Homecoming weekend. I'm just glad I have the friends that I have, or else I'd still be the hermit I was freshman year. One of my friends dubbed me the "low-key popular chick." I don't know how to feel about that lol.

My current (mostly nonexistent) love life has been taken over by vicious bouts of jealousy. One girl is completely taken and I'm fine with that (mostly). She wants me to write a poem about her and I'm working on it. No worries...it's nothing emotionally unreasonable.

Girl #2 is single, but I know she still has feelings for the girl she used to talk to. I could see it when we were all hanging out on Friday. I got drunk for the first time last night and all I wanted to do was be next to her. She was the one who gave me that push into that side of my sexuality, so I guess I'll always feel some type of way about her. Just a few days ago, we finally talked about what happened. Apparently she was going through some things, so she apologized for avoiding it. She said I was really cool and no matter what happens, she can see us as being good friends. I want something to happen. I'm not sure if it's my feelings or my curiosity talking. It's probably a little bit of both...

I don't really have any main guy prospects. Mr. Gorgeous is a long shot. I may start small, like the senior who asked me to dance many moons ago. Whatever I end up doing...I honestly just want some attention. It's been a little more than a month. I think I feel like since I'm more social, I should be getting more action. It's still hard as hell for me out there. I'm going to try harder, that's for sure.

I got a Homecoming bonus from my aunt and uncle and I spent half of it already. I had one of my best friends come with me, and he helped me out a lot. It made me realize that looking extra good is expensive as hell. I'd rather just be chill and be me with the occasional surprises in between. We'll count Saturday's outfit as one of those surprises. I probably won't bust it out until after I get my hair done this weekend.

I'm anxious for Tuesday night. In between, I will be participating in the Oh So Political Film Festival from 11 to 8 today in the Student Center. It continues tomorrow, but I plan on helping out with the Obama campaign. We're going to go to various poll areas and make sure everyone votes. There's a lot of scams out here and we have to make sure every registered voter votes without the mess. Hill Harper came at the last minute tonight to encourage us to do what we can now. I've already voted absentee, so I can now focus my energy on everyone else.

And those are the main things on my mind. Stay tuned America.

Make a difference and VOTE!! Peace.