Thursday, June 11, 2009


It was difficult for me to fall asleep last night, hence the great lack of focus in class today. I think I'm going to list all of my fears here so I can lighten my emo load.

1. Employment - I know I'm a step up from the unemployed since I have a job right now. It's minimum wage, but it's still a job. I'm trying to upgrade to the new Chili's that's coming in July. Currently, I am the oldest worker at Tropical Smoothie Cafe. Luckily I have more of a productive life than past summers, so I'm not there all the time like I was before summer school started. Seems like a lot of my peers have better jobs. One of my very first crushes works at the Gap, while the super smart people are making moves with paid internships. I'm grateful to be making my own money, and it's going to stay that way, whether I upgrade or not. Upgrading is absolutely essential, especially if I'm trying to move out in a few years or less.

2. Love - For my single people (or those who aren't in the best relationship), do you ever wonder if there is someone out there for you,but not necessarily in the place you live? That's a topic for another blog, but sometimes I honestly feel that way. I think I end up falling in the friend zone by accident just because I'm so damn nice.

3. Coming Out - I'm only planning to do so with people I care about. Everyone else can find out on their own. It's scary, but I have to take it one day at a time. And when I do, I want to be confident that this is who I am. It's like I'm waiting for a sign, but I have no idea what it is.

4. Time Management - I've always sucked at it, but I have to get better. I think the busier I get, the better reality check I'm going to have. I have to make things happen as opposed to putting shit off. I mean, who has the best jobs? Go-getters do, mostly.

As Jasmine Sullivan sang, "We're not human without fear." Facing them can force us to change our lives for the better.


Chanel said...

I completely agree with J.Sulli. If we arent afraid of at least one thing, sumthin must be wrong. Your fears are very legit. But like u said, you can only take things one step at a time until you overcome them. As long as u dont let them cripple you, you'll be ok :-)

Ziggy Za. said...

Worry not, my friend; I hope you know everything you listed works itself out in its own time. I wouldn't call them fears, for these are things millions of people probably worry about on the daily, especially number 1. You're just being human, and there should be no fear in that.

random said...

J. Sull was right. There's nothing wrong with fearing something, but don't let that fear control you.