She was so cynical about love...

I'm not feeling love right now. The nearing of Valentine's Day doesn't have much to do with it. I just don't have much inspiration and the demand for a love poem isn't moving me much. I'm currently working on a recession poem now. I can't remember the last time I wrote a poem that had nothing to do with love or some sort of attraction to someone. That's what I'm known for. I've been called the love poet. Maybe I'm just secretly mad because I'm getting any (love). Probably the only love that inspires me is family and friend love and the love that my parents have for each other.

I have parents who were (rival) college lovebirds back in the day and have been together ever since. Weren't they lucky? Now we're living in an oversexed world where college is the place to experiment and put notches in belts more so than finding a husband or wife. I've accepted the fact that most fairy tales don't start in college. I will probably have to get myself together mentally and financially before I could ever find my soulmate. I'm fine with that. I'm in no condition to be engaged or married at this very moment. Hell, I'm just having fun and learning lessons along the way.

I had the most random dream that involved an old friend (boy). It was quite ironic because the lust in that dream will never exist in real life, and the irony also prevails in the fact that I'm more in tune with my girl-loving side lately. Give me a chick on my level and I'll be set for the time being.

I haven't been to an open mic since last semester, and I'm going to change that next week. It's been too long. Open mics are a huge source of my poetic inspiration.

I have a choice to make concerning bringing my poetry to the school forefront. It feels easier to quit, but I guess I'll make my decision after this meeting tonight.

Rant poem. (7/30)

Tension builds around my heart
In conjunction with walls and mantras
(Supposedly my protection)
Pushing myself into being
Too good for most
When I may just be a hypocrite
Like most

Judging people by surface conversations
Instead of taking time
To find gems underneath
But who has enough time
For those awkward situations?

The tapping thumbs
While pretending to listen
To ramblings about nothing

Or loving the build
And hating the brain

Or finding commercial
In what you thought was complexity

How many does it take?

It's like a game:

Tally up the hit and runs,
Mindless crushes
Love of lusts
(So listless it needs its own scoreboard)

And we get nowhere.

There's no psychic palm reader
Who can tell me
When I can find that one
Beyond the crowd

So now I'm stuck
Between fate and consequence.


(Written in the HU registration line. Why not subject to cynicism? And yes I am a day behind...oops lol)