Sunday, September 28, 2008

Sand in my shoes

"Beauty is in the eye of love
Uninhibited, intense
Fresh like the high tide..."

I came up with that when I was at the beach the other night. I went with some "friends," but I ended up standing near the waves. I didn't mind... mostly. It was actually quite the poetic experience. At first, I was afraid of getting my feet wet, but I inched closer and planted my flip flops in the sinking wet sand. I started singing "Sand in My Shoes" by Dido (mostly the chorus) repeatedly to myself, then realized that there wasn't anyone close enough to hear me so I sang like I didn't care. I looked over and saw the girl I once touched having fun with her friends and felt more alone than ever. I took out my mp3 player and started playing "Lost & Found" by Ledisi, which is one of the most beautiful lonely songs ever. I listened to it a couple of times while I let the sandy water wash over my feet and ankles. At times, I would stand on my tiptoes and let the remaining water slide off my flip-flops. At one point, I was reminded of the ending of the novel The Awakening and how Edna (I think that's her name...the main character) watches the waves before she gives herself to them. I could almost relate to that moment.

If I didn't love life and the possibilities of the future so much, I probably would've given myself away right there.

But I didn't. I know that there are amazing things (and people) waiting for me in the future.

At times like those, a lot of things run through my head and it's hard to catch every thought. Like now...I wasn't aware that this entry was going to turn out the way it did.

Ah, such is life.

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