My determination has gone south for the winter as of late. Since I skipped my two most important classes the other morning, I've wanted to do nothing but sleep. It was hard enough getting out of bed this morning, and I didn't have class until 12. And I was still late for class after a quick run to the caf.
Sometimes I hate my major to death. I really wish I could go back in time and change it, but I can't. I'm not completely sure of what I want to do with it, and with the current state of the economy, I can't spend a year "finding myself" after graduation. It's either go big or go home. I'd rather not stay in my parents' house after graduation if I can avoid it.
Other times, I love my major because interpretation is everything. As long as you have evidence of your claim, you can write about anything. The thing is, writing greatness doesn't usually come that easily. There's brainstorming, free writing, outlining, revising, and oh so much else to encounter before the final product is created (depending on the assignment).
It's all about time management. Every minute can be spent doing something productive, but 75% of the time, we choose not to. Why? Because wasting time is much more entertaining. There are those individuals who do nothing but productive things. I admire them, but most times, they sacrifice a lot of time that can be contributed to a social life. I'd rather have my 3.0 and a life than a 4.0 and be stuck in my room/the library all the time.
I guess it boils down to this: Class is what you make it. Just go regularly, stay on top of assignments, study, and get the grade you deserve. I'm usually not the type who discusses final grades with teachers when it's too late. I accept my mistakes and move on. The scholarship that I was going to going to get my 3.0 for no longer exists, but that doesn't mean I should stop shooting for the stars aka my 3.0, which should only take a handful of A's and B's to get. Plus there's plenty of free money to grab, so I will keep at it.
So let's see if this list of motivations will keep me from facebooking until my eyes cross...
Motivation #1: My parents, aka my second biggest fans aside from myself. They gave me life and the freedom to do whatever in order to make my dreams come true. I was not forced into my major like other kids have been. They support me no matter what. Going to HU has emptied their pockets faster than ever, so it's almost like I need to repay them for this education they've been paying for. If I get rich one of these days, they will be the first I will cater to. No questions asked.
Motivation #2: Those who think African-Americans are still inferior. Unfortunately, ignorance still exists. We can't just laugh in white people's faces just because Barack Obama is our president. There are other influential figures in our lives who have broken their backs to get to where they are today. I am blessed with an education that not enough people will get in their lifetime. Might as well make the most of it.
Motivation #3: A better life for me, myself, and I. I know I'm not perfect, but if I'm trying to go places, I need to use my resources like Bush used Iraq for oil (bad joke I know, but work with me). I need to put myself out there this semester so I can know what I need to do in order to find my dream job and/or apply for grad school. Time is passing quickly and before I know it, senior year will be here and I'll have one more year with the best friends a girl could ever have.
So in order to have my ideal life (or at least something close to it), I need to do my theory homework, no matter how tempting sleep or any other pasttime seems.