Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Why you gotta make it so hard?

It's depressing to talk to my sister sometimes. Tonight's conversation was one of those instances. She doesn't feel motivated to do anything and it scares me. Ultimately, she knows what she wants in life, but she definitely has to work harder in order to obtain those goals. She wants to focus on the present, which includes getting through high school and graduation.

This school year has been rough for the both of us. Sometimes I don't realize what she goes through at home. She's around my mother, who constantly complains about the current financial situation and how every household item is going to shit (maybe it's the 10-year curse), so that's more money down the drain. They even had to "borrow" money from her just so they could pay off crazy bills. That was her car money nonetheless. Regardless, we're all affected by the recession, and maybe that's one of the reasons why she didn't get into some of the colleges she applied to.

I've always had a positive mentality towards hardships and whatnot. I feel like if I was in her shoes, I would deal with the problems and try to better myself instead of being in a vegetative state. Life is not going to change if you don't put in work. And it's not even like she's tried to do anything and is now scared of failure.

I know my strict parents have a lot to do with how she's turned out, but she can still gain some sort of independence even under their roof. Once she's trusted to drive safely by herself, she can commute to community college and hold down the job she's had for the past several months. Once she handles that responsibility, my parents should be able to give her more freedom. It's like she's content with the way things are, even though she is clearly unhappy.

No matter how much I tell her, she's always going to feel this way. And it hurts. She's my best friend and I want nothing but the best experiences for her. But if she doesn't believe in them, then they are not going to happen.

Frankly, I'm tired of hearing it. Unless she wants and desires change and is willing to work for it, we have (almost) nothing serious to talk about.

1 comment:

Notorious Nikki said...

Sometimes its hard for people to see the silver linig of clouds, I don't know if this may help, but i used to get down on myself a lot because i too have very strict parents have her read " I know why the caged bird sings"- Mya Angelou. I think once she sees the positive in things she will be able to access the negative for what it is and not let it bog her down.